/ MARCH 2008

+ MARCH 14th, 2008  NOW PLAYING:  Various - The Darjeeling Limited OST


Holy wah, kittens!  I've been to the edges of the netherworlds and back.  There is much for me to tell you.  However, I first must tip my hat to influenza strain A/NH-14573-Q for the severe and undisputed beatdown it laid upon my (clearly) inferior body and immune system this week.  I have seriously never been so sick in my whole life.  It's been completely ridicudonk.  I wanted to tell you that part first because the proceedings may just sound like a whole lotta whining due to fatigue and girly parts...and some of it is...but most of it is NOT.  I'm deadly serious, yo. 

Sunday night was my last decent sleep.  I also haven't really eaten much of anything since Monday night.  It became an act of futility.  Like with beer, I was just renting the food for a short amount of time before I'd return it to the porcelain gods and ask why they had forsaken me!!  Why!!??  My fever kept me shivering so much that I wanted to climb inside the oven...or sweating so profusely, I honestly thought about sleeping on the balcony for a while.  As soon as I'd get some kind of handle on it, it would switch back the other way.  "What insane person could possibly need ALL THESE COVERS!!??"  At one point, I curled up in a ball on the bottom of the tub and alternated the shower between ripping hot and frigid temperatures, trying to obtain some kind of temperature balance and comfort.  Then I realized I must have looked like the dude in The Crying Game all curled up there.  An entirely different issue altogether.     

Dudes, my entire body was under attack!  You know how most colds or flus are generally located to one specific set of ailments?  Like, you get a bad head cold....maybe you've had some sort of chest/cough/throat thing going on?  Sometimes you get aches, pains, and fever?  Or you get the old can't-keep-nothing-inside heave-ho, right?  Well this particular trip to the amusement park, I had every single symptom from every cold known since the dawn of time.  All of it.  It was like a K-Tel Super Sounds Of The 70's compilation!  It was like the Excorcist via Outbreak via Andromeda Strain via Dawn Of The Dead with a little Sixth Sense thrown in for good measure.  Plus, I had a migraine that hurt so bad, my pillow felt like a cinder block. Or maybe like someone smacked me about my temples and the back of my head with a 2x4.   Pressure treated.  I've had about 6 sporadic hours of relief from this migraine since Monday night.  

But here's the kicker:  You know how you sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, maybe to tinkle, maybe a bad dream, or maybe the cat was trying to Muhammad Ali speedbag your nuts for some unknown reason?  You stir.  You check the clock.  Upon discovering the time, you either get stoked 'cos it's actually 1:47am and you've still got tons of sleep left ahead of you.  Or, you realize it's 6:42am and you can't believe you've been asleep that long and have to get up soon.  The point being, is that with either scenario, you're always surprised by what the clock tells you.  That's because you were honestly asleep, out of it, and no longer have any idea what time it could possibly be. 

What was happening to me on both Monday night, and Tuesday night was this:   I was absolutely exhausted.  In my exhaustion, I'd eventually drift off to "sleep".  Then I'd stir and awaken with the almost-relieved feeling that I had been sleeping for quite sometime.  But nope.  No more than 5 minutes at a time would pass.  And I kept doing this over and over again.  All night.  It was quite surreal, and absolutely frustrating.   

The other bummer is that I did have the flu shot this year, but still wound up with the heinous little bug.  I know it can't possibly protect you from every single strain, but apparently it does help you fight off the virus faster.  So if that's true, I don't even want to know how it would have went down without the shot.  Jeebus. 

So that's my flu story.  Not particularly funny or interesting or of any real relevance.  It doesn't have any classic turns of phrase, or banter above the 4th grade level.  But I sure got my ass kicked good.  Much respect to the flu.

Flu - 1.  Coop - 0.

If I'm feeling better by this weekend, it'll be a different game entirely.

Cooper - 37.  Nachos & Beer - 0.    

Much Love & Stuff!
COOP

+ MARCH 3rd, 2008  NOW PLAYING:  Mike Doughty - Golden Delicious


Hola amigos.  I am home.  Hi.  How have you beens?  I am refreshed, re-wired and also completely out of it.  Life back in Toronto feels surreal right now.  It's amazing how 3 hours on a plane can drop you off in a completely different climate, culture, economy, and way of living.  It's almost like Doc Brown got the time machine fixed, but it wasn't exactly right, so the morph was less than instantaneous.  Today, the city feels foreign to me.  Things have a strange glow around the edges.  I know this all sounds melodramatic, I don't mean it to.  It's just that, well, I'm just really high on crack right now.    

You may have heard the rumblies by now, and if so, it is 100% true.  Cookie and I will be having our first child this summer.  That's him up there.  Hi!  I never thought a black and white blobby thing could be so beautiful.  Cook is 5 months along now, with her delicate frame now sporting the cutest little belly this side of the Muskogee.  My apologies if you didn't hear it from me personally, I wish I was better organized and more considerate of your feelings.  I recognize that it is kinda weird and corny to be writing about it here, but it's my best shot to make sure everyone knows what's going on.  If someone decides to berate me for not knowing, I can lob back similar accusations for clearly not being supportive of my music.  Hehe.  Then we'll be even and we can have a beer instead of this petty who-told-who-didn't-tell-who uber hyphenating nonsense.  Thanks to all who have sent lovely messages of congratulations our way.  I'd even like to thank the people who sent notes to the effect of, "YOU'RE going to be someone's DAD!!??"  Yes, yes I am.  I think the same kinda things, so how can I be mad at ya?  It's all beautiful to me.  We are over the moon.

Suffice it to say, it's been a really exciting time.  He's already kicking up a storm, jigglin' and movin' around like a bowlful of jelly (which would explain why ol' Bill Cosby keeps poppin' by).  I've been singing little ad-lib tunes into Cookie's belly to see if I can get him dancing, and it seems to work sometimes.  Maybe he's a music snob like me?  I figure for more consistent reaction, the tunes need more structure and direct lyrical approach, so I've decided to start a little mini project called "Tummysongs"...nifty little lullabies written for my little man in the womb and his journey.  When he comes out, he's gonna be shotgunning Pabst cans and be all, "Enough of this mamby-pamby shite! Let's get some Sabbath goin' up in this joint!"

Yeah, that's mah boy.   

Much Love & Stuff!
COOP

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