|
/ JULY 2009
+ JULY 29TH,
2009
NOW PLAYING:
Hayden - The Place We Used To Live
A woman blew by me on the highway this morning in a silver BMW.
Her seat was reclined at roughly a 60 degree angle. She was chatting
and chortling on a cell phone in her left hand, while twirling her blonde
locks with the right hand. As she weaved in and out, passing
cars...not once did her left hand drop the phone or did the right hand
stop twirling hair. I ask you this. What does one steer with
when both main appendages are currently in use?
Inconsideration for others, especially behaviour that could easily result
in serious harm, makes me see red. Yikes. I'm honestly not
sure what gets into people (or rather, doesn't...) that makes them
think they live in a bubble. They must poop rainbows while spending
the scads of money that falls from the Mommy & Daddy tree into their laps.
"Why can't I have a pet unicorn!!?? But I waaant one!"
I think we should stop the senseless slaughter of innocent animals, and
instead eat useless humans. It's pretty much exactly why BBQ sauce
was created. Mmmm, crispy honey dummy bum.
And There You Have It,
COOP
+ JULY 20TH,
2009
NOW PLAYING:
Elvis Costello - Secret, Profane...
I used to be a consistent blogger. A diligent blogger. Seems
as though that has changed these days...a lot of things have. I'm
feeling that these Twitter-y, Facebook-y times writing here can sometime
seem like I'm just throwing more random, useless garbage into the
stratosphere....digital littering. Yeah, Digital Littering.
Made that sweet phrase up, right on the spot and it's
Coupland-ism
worthy I think. So when I pop in, I want it to be because I feel
like I have something to communicate. Not just because Cool Ranch
Doritos were on sale or because I had a really good poop like so many of
these people toss out there and clog up the discourse. But now that
every person on the planet is plugged in and tweeting away, it seems
excessive to add to it. I think the technology is fascinating, but
friends, I will never, ever Twitter.
I dunno. I know many, many people have read this thing over the past
few years and that's awesome. I'm flattered that you would spend any
of your time hanging around here, listening, laughing,
lounging...whatever. Thanks for your time, I'll try harder to write
more and make it um, worthwhile.
And when I do write, it will probably be looooong. A touch more than
a tweet, to be sure. The question is, do we have the
attention span anymore? Let's see, 'cos here I goes.
I wonder how many government scandals, murders, child abductions,
political coup's, and all otherwise headline-making news was missed and/or
overlooked during Michael Jackson's death/scandal/funeral/discography
re-release over the past few weeks? Coincidentally, guess what
albums are
smashing the charts right now? I hope Tito is a beneficiary.
Great, now I feel guilty for contributing again.
The celebrity watching thing has, unbelievably, gotten even more out of
hand. I constantly overhear people talking about this stuff like, I
don't know, "ooooh, did you hear that Charlie Sheen only has one ball",
like it's the kind of thing you need to know, and if you don't
know...we'll I'm in-the-know, and now you are too. Great! I
feel well equipped to deal with life's obstacles now! Sometimes I'll
stumble across news like that myself, scratch my head and assume it must
be a slow day out there, but then overhear people talking about that very
thing for the next day or two. It's absolute insanity.
Can you imagine our collective intelligence and ability to add perspective
and knowledge to situations if we even had one fifth the capacity to
absorb and recall *useful* information the way we do the filler?
Is our boredom and A.D.D taking the information that normally lives in the
basement apartment of our brains and saying, "Hey useful facts!
We're much more interested in Charlie Sheen's ball than anything you could
provide, so we're taking the master suite and you can go live out back in
the shed. Yeah, we'll call you if we need you...but it could be
awhile so you might as well get comfortable back there."
I find it oddly fitting (and sorta hilarious) that the shopping carts at Wal-Mart
(and seemingly only at Wal-Mart) have
spots for two children in 'em.
It's weird to pop back and forth between the city and the country like
it's no thing at all. One minute I'm hanging out with Sammy on
our porch looking at Georgian Bay, or in the park...then the next I'm fighting traffic down the
Gardiner Expressway and into the hustle 'n' flow of luxury cars,
skyscrapers, the hip and the homeless. It's strange
and messes with my head in many ways.
I actually walked beside a man this morning who was listening to some sort
of motivational recording on his ipod and reciting its mantras as he
walked. "Josh, you are a strong,
smart, confident man. You are respected and well-liked..." and on
and on he went. I was behind him with mocking him with faux humping
and fist pumping motions. That's right, I get respect and am
well-liked, too!
The thing that some people never understand about living in the city, is the
extreme level of anonymity and what it does to your brain. You get
so used to walking down the street amidst a sea of unfamiliar faces that
you inevitably learn to tune it out. It's impossible to process it
all. When you start, it's like you're the Terminator with that
infared computer screen trying to match up facial patterns with your
target (aka The People You Might Know). Eventually, it becomes
futile.
That "city people aren't friendly" comment you always hear isn't because
people aren't actually nice, they just learn that there's not a whole
lot of point in making small talk or investing time in a person they will likely
never see again. It's sad to admit, but you just become conditioned to it. In my new
town, I'm trying my very best to be open to communication with people I
encounter because I will definitely see them again and it just makes more
sense. It does indeed make for a friendlier feeling place. However, there are
lots of people that see and hear everything, too. I'm not used to
that part yet. I'm not angry about it, I had just forgotten what it
was like to go and do something and then hear back from it via someone
else who was not present. Strange. But it's kind of comforting
as well. It's a wake up call for everyone to operate with the utmost
integrity. Don't like people talking about you? Don't do crap
worth gossiping about (like having one ball, for instance!), and they'll
only say nice things. Unless you're ugly, then you're on your own.
Sorry. Hey, think that just because you live in a city that people
aren't talking about you? They are, it just takes longer to come
back to you (if it does at all). You'd be wrong if you thought otherwise.
Wrong and dumb.
I'm in a full-on vinyl obsession. My record player isn't even
working, but I've been buying albums like a freak. In fact, I'm so
into it that whenever I look into getting the new turntable I want, I
think "wow, I could spend that money on more records!" Insane,
right? It's cool though, a lot of new releases are coming out on
vinyl also contain a digital download card so you can put the album on
your ipod or burn CDs, etc. To me, it's the ultimate way to buy
music. You have access to the full spectrum audio experience with just one purchase. If you want the
full-on, tactile, concentrated listening deal you can sit cross legged in your
living room with the LP, check out the beautiful packaging and gigantic
lyric booklets....if not, just toss it onto your ipod and go.
Amazing. Slightly ironic that vinyl could very well be the thing
that saves music in the digital age.
I can't stop listening to
this MGMT song.
I don't know why 'cos I could see it annoying some people quite easily.
I guess it just sounds like summer tune...and I'm longing for the feelings
of a real summer.
Not this June-uary BS.
Much Love & Stuff...
COOP
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